90-10

In Malibu, they taught the 90/10 rule: The idea is to keep a healthy lifestyle & thoughts 90% of the time, and 10% of the time you can indulge.

I guess you can say I've been a "Perfect 10" these past few days.

Just 9 days after arriving home from the Biggest Loser Resort in Malibu, I was on a plane to West Palm Beach Florida for a work conference (I know, rough life)

THIS trip, I was on my own as far as my food and meals were concerned. I had a very successful week at home, planning my meals and exercising. I had this in the bag.

Well...funny thing about being away from home and not having a regimented schedule like we did at the resort. I was left to my own devices, and had what I like to call "temptation challenges" at every turn.

The first morning I did great! Had a very healthy breakfast and chose the fruit instead of bacon.

yes it's wheat toast

 For the afternoon break, they put out a "candy bar." It was beautiful. Ya know, if you're into that kind of stuff. Think jars of colored sugary balls and cubes and chocolate bars and gummy thingies AND little plastic bags you could fill up.

I chose a nutri-grain bar - apple cinammon. And a very small Hershey's chocolate bar. So far, so good. The evening reception was poolside and it was lovely. There were healthy options, too!

Hooray for fruit skewers!

They had wonderful little stations with different finger foods. I steered clear of the mini quiches and dough-wrapped cocktail wieners - helped myself to a few crab claws (with cocktail sauce not butter) and a slice of honey turkey. Fabulous.

Then, on the way out, a sign told us to help ourselves to a box of "midnight snacks." Here's the image that came to mind:

I took one anyway.

Inside the box (which was opened in the parking lot en route to the car): A biscotti (120 calories - not bad) a piece of peppermint bark with a generous chocolate crust and a small, fudgy chewy thing that was probably a brownie but tasted like a piece of heaven.

Hello, 10%.

I guess all things considered it really wasn't all that "unhealthy" but I felt the guilt start to creep in. And, since the "finger food" didn't really seem to count as a "dinner" (and because I hadn't attempted to count any calories for what I had eaten) I found myself out that night at a small tavern/restaurant for a late night dinner - I chose the chicken sandwich. It came with fries. I ate the fries.

And so the cycle began. From that point on, I thought carefully about what I ate, but I didn't track it anywhere (and I have an iPhone which gives me clear access to pretty much all that information). I did choose the berries over the cheesecake at dessert (that was so hard to do, but the berries were amazing) and I didn't touch the mound of bread that came before dinner. I still felt in control while I "treated" myself to a little freedom.

And, since I was in Florida, I had to have one of these:

key lime pie

I split it with my colleague. I still felt incredibly guilty. But here's the thing: since being at the Biggest Loser Resort, I know I won't gain 5 pounds from eating 1/2 a piece of key lime pie. It's not going to ruin me or my efforts. I learned there is no "forbidden list" of foods. If I looked at it that way, it would have too much power over me. The life coach Essara talked about "forgiving yourself" and moving forward and not letting a slip-up stop you from what you wanted. So, so true. Because before, I would have just given up. I would have said "well, there goes THAT" and just kept eating out of control.

This time, I was very aware of what I was doing, and got right back on track the minute I got back home. Took my dog for a 45-minute walk; went to Zumba (yay!); and tracked every bite I took today. I will NOT let this be a "fail" in my book. It was a trip to 10% Land and I am now back in 90% Reality World. (-: It's all good, and I love not beating myself up like I used to. I love knowing my numbers and the math and what food does to me and what exercise means to me. I also know I don't feel as good when I dabble with the 10% ~ I'm more tired and irritable. I prefer to feel the way I do when I eat clean - but I also know that this is real life and I will be faced with more challenges along the way. I just have to keep track to stay on track, and then I'll see that I can do this the right way, once and for all. It'll take some time...but I got plenty of that.