Broken

My day today started out in an awful way. As I was leaving the charming New England B&B in Bar Harbor Maine, following 2 glorious days in one of the most beautiful places on earth...I smashed into a rock wall in the parking lot.

I can't even tell you how it happened. I was looking, I backed up slowly, and then the horrible "CRUNCH" sound. I immediately started to panic.

My new car.

My brand new car.

My DREAM car.

My beautiful brand new white dream car.

No.

I didn't want to get out, but I did, and it was not pretty. Bumper all scratched, tail light smashed. I was afraid I ruined the trip for my 79-year old mother in law (this was on her bucket list). I was afraid of what my husband would say (I have been known in the past to 'crunch' a car - he joked with me as we drove this new car off the lot to BE CAREFUL). I was just upset that I had let this happen somehow. And I could. not. stop. crying. To the point I could hardly breathe.

Words like "it's ok", "it was an accident", "you didn't do it on purpose", "it's just a car, it can be fixed" started to float their way through my tears. All true, but I was inconsolable over my new car, which I got in such perfect condition, and now was damaged. My perfect car. My most prized possession.

It took a few hours of somber thought to let it all sink in. YES, it could be fixed. It was going to be fixed. It was my fault somehow, but it could be fixed. And as usual, in one of my darkest times, the grace of God found me in the form of a scripture that came into my head and interrupted my negative thinking.

Behold, I make all things new.

It's a scripture I had engraved on my Dad's gravestone. "The old has gone, the new has come."

Yes, this too shall pass. And I know that when things are broken they can be fixed.

Including me.

I came out in perfect condition too. Not from a factory, couldn't be bought, and certainly not without sin, but I was in pretty good shape. And today's events got me thinking that even though I'm "broken" in many ways, I can be fixed too. And even though it wasn't by accident that all that chocolate fell in my mouth and put me in less than perfect form, I could still be fixed. I am fixing myself by making better choices day by day (hour by hour, minute by minute...)

Yup, it may take a bit longer than a deductible and a few days  in the shop, but I'm getting fixed too. And I'm certainly grateful that's "all" that's broken on me and my car. (-:

We'll be just fine, thanks, and I will enjoy the rest of my journey literally and figuratively and not let it ruin my day, my life.

My husband (who seemed to take the news well as far as I could tell from 700 miles away) always says, "It is what it is."

Indeed.

Material things can be replaced. Time with loved ones, and memories, cannot. So, in spite of my grieving over my perfect car, I realize it's just a "thing" and maybe I needed to put that in perspective to apply the principle of fixing what's broken to my life.

Here's hoping you can too.

xoxo