Monday, October 24, 2011
A Question of Character
Like, who am I?
Some people that I thought I was friendly with made some less than flattering remarks about me. I found out and it took me by surprise. After the hurt wore off, I reflected on the comments. And by reflected, I mean obsessed.
I didn't understand. I try to be good to everyone I know, and I like to think that I am overall a pleasant person. I know that sometimes "perception" can be misleading, but I'm never able to completely dismiss a "diss". It's not the first time it's happened, and I'm sure it won't be the last. That knowledge doesn't make it any easier.
I came across a quote from John Wooden:
"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
Love me some John Wooden!
Anyway, I memorized this one rather quickly and used it as comfort. Yup, who cares about reputation? I remember in the 9th grade I sure did when I caught mono, and everyone said it was from kissing a certain boy, when in fact I believe I got it from the water fountain. True Story. Reputation? Don't get me started.
Then I started thinking about my character. And by thinking, I mean doubting.
What was my character? Who was I trying to be? Who was I, really?
I am someone who is trying to lose weight and be healthy, who is struggling with aligning my motivation with perspiration.
I am someone who loves to write, who has been too embarrassed to blog about setbacks.
I am a good person who cares about everyone's feelings. Sometimes too much.
I am someone who tries to live life by The Golden Rule.
I want to be a small part of the light in a dark world.
I'm all these things, and more. So to have someone doubt this "character" of mine was confusing, to say the least.
When I talked with my Mom about these things people said, she put it this way: "It doesn't matter as long as you know who you are in Christ."
Hmmm. That was food for thought. These scriptures came to mind:
“Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?” – 1 Corinthians 3:16
“You are the salt of the earth… You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden.” – Matthew 5:13-14
Romans 8 says
“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus..."
I love that everything I need to face life's obstacles is in my Bible. The sting of the comments made this past week can be dulled with a good shot of The Word. The same was true of the betrayal I faced last year by a so-called friend. I still need to forgive her every day, but it doesn't hurt as much.
Not everyone will "get" me. I have a handful of good, solid, "salt of the Earth" friends and a committed, strong and caring husband to lean on when my character is questioned.
One good thing? I haven't let this set me back from my goals. I am concerned with my journey, not my pace, and I am still on my way. I celebrate small victories (like, not consoling myself with junk just because someone was mean to me) and I surround myself with friends who lift me up. I am almost halfway through my 5K program (for those of you who are concerned with my timeline yes, I started over again) and will be "Running Disney" in January.
I am a believer in things happening for a reason. I needed the reminder that I am loved beyond comprehension. I needed to be reminded about the importance of forgiveness and show those who hurt me a spirit of Love (that was tough, but I did it.)
Without trials, the victories are not as sweet. I needed to remember that too. If it were easy to get back in a size 6, I wouldn't appreciate it as much. (Dear God, it doesn't have to be too hard either) (-:
What people think of me is none of my business. This was a light bulb moment for me this week. I hope you have yours, and that your "character" isn't questioned by the person that counts the most...you!
Posted by Diana B. at 10:36 PM