It's a stay at home vacation.
Boy, did I need it.
I decided to take a week off to concentrate on ME. Kinda like I did back in November, when I hopped on a plane to California to head to Fitness Ridge. Except it's totally different being at home, of course. BUT Fitness Ridge and what I learned is in my heart, and I needed a time out to get re-connected with the positive thoughts (and eventually, positive actions) that will get me to where I want to be.
Cue the staycation!
I've been getting "lost" in everyday life. I stopped exercising, stopped tracking, and was caught in a cycle of stop and go. I got incredibly motivated for a few days then got incredibly discouraged after a few days. And it just kept repeating itself. I was SPOT ON and then I was "who cares?"
|what a ride.|
It was really driving me crazy. Yup, the rollercoaster emotions, the rollercoaster willpower. I want this sooo bad ("this" being a healthy BMI) and I was not being consistent. I'm working on it. Every day.
My sister told me last night to "quit blogging about it" because it was embarassing to see how many times I was like "TODAY IS THE DAY!" and how I'd fall back off and slack, and then start over. She said that I should "just do it" once and for all. I get that, and it came from a good place in her heart, but when you've never had a struggle like I have, it's hard to truly relate.
But to me, this is not embarassing. It's....humbling. And it's keeping me accountable. And it lets others know that they're not crazy either. It's just really, really, (really) hard.
But two steps forward and one step back is still one step forward.
I've made good choices for a few days in a row now. I planned, I exercised, I am getting back to the "it's OK to take time out for me" attitude that will bring me success. I went to 2 Zumba classes yesterday (one regular and one aqua - loved it BTW) and I had that "a-ha!" feeling about how good it felt to work my body.
No obligations. Time to read a book, time to read some encouraging scriptures, time to organize my closets and clean my floors and just get back to basics. Then I will face obligations again. But right now, I am in the middle of a week of getting my head back on straight, and planning out my week's meals and making sure I stay on plan, and yes I signed up for Aqua Zumba every Friday. I'm going to actually BRING my gym bag to work with me and pack my lunch the night before. I took a walk with my whole family (even the dog) tonight. Yes, it's about me, but I also need support and encouragement and for people to know how important this is to me. (like you, Megan, and bless your heart for not giving up on me!)
Have you had a time out lately? Time out just for you? I highly encourage it. If anyone gives you a hard time about it, post this on your Facebook page and take a time out: