Exhibit A: There is a candy store called Weaver Nut Company where I go shopping for items we need for the hotel gift shop. I stopped in last week and bought some Hershey bars for a promotion we are doing. I decided to order a few treats from the candy counter.
What happened left me speechless. I walked up to the counter, surveyed the items in the glass case, and smiled at the young lady who came up to help me.
She smiled back at me, then she said something which totally caught me off guard. Something I was certainly not expecting to hear in a million years.
I was left sounding like Fred Flinstone as I stammered something like "uh, buh, huh, do you...? How do you know that?"
"I like them too" was her reply.
OMG. She remembered me.
I occasionally stop by that candy counter where I sometimes order a few coconut clusters and some non-pareils. But apparently my "sometimes" was every time I went in, because she knew me. She knew me as the Coconut Cluster Lady. Not cool.
There are certain circumstances where this would be cool. Starbucks, for example. If I would walk up to the counter and be greeted with "Venti decaf nonfat latte with 2 raw sugars extra hot?" that would be A-OK with me. Or at a local restaurant. "Grilled chicken salad with dressing on the side?" Nice. But "Coconut Clusters?" Totally not cool. It was shameful to me. I was embarrassed.
Exhibit B: While on a work trip, I was chosen to take part in a test-drive of a new website. Part of that test-drive was being interviewed on camera. So I was sitting there getting mic-ed up and I asked a question as a reflex: "Can you please not get my whole body in the picture? Like, can you just get from here on up?"
The camera man then utters a phrase that got my attention as much as "Coconut Clusters" did. More, actually. He says, "Oh, I remember you from last time. You are so self critical!"
Wow. He remembered me too. And not as the girl who was chosen to take part in a really cool project. Not as the girl who was a motivator, and a happy, confident person. Nope. I was the self-critical girl. The self critical girl who ate coconut clusters that made her not want to have a full body shot. Oh dear Lord. Again, I was speechless as the meaning of those words sunk in.
This immediately came to mind. Matthew 7:16
You will know them by their fruit. Grapes aren't gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles, are they?
What kind of "fruit" was I being known for? Not good fruit. Not sweet fruit. That's so not me! And yet, to some people, it was.
I admit it's great to be recognized. You've seen the show. Where Everybody Knows Your Name. But when your name is tied to something that makes you unhealthy or something that is negative, it's not someplace I want to be.
So my spiritual awakening continues. I got to meet with not one but two friends this week on my journey to get it together and get back on track. We agreed to lift each other up and support one another. I am thankful for the ways God opens my eyes to see the truths (though they may sting a little) that have been holding me back...making me be someone I do not want to be. Making me the self critical coconut clusters lady.
I'm waiting for the day I can be known for other things. That day can be today. I can be known as the girl who started again, on this crazy rollercoaster of a ride, and downloaded the "Couch to 5K" app on her iPhone. I am going to run, friends. Blog to follow (-:
I'm a work in progress, but praise God I can see. See what I need to do to get where I want to be to be someone who glorifies Him in all that I do.
So friends, that's my self-awareness lesson this week, and I am very grateful for the opportunity to keep learning! So I'm gaining wisdom on my way to losing weight, and that's just fine with me, cuz it really has to start here anyway: