OK OK it's only Day 2 of my "Couch to 5K" program but I am calling myself a runner. Because today I felt it.
Metaphorically I am running away from my bad habits and my bad attitude and my negative self talk.
Physically I am literally running towards a healthier me, a brighter future, the confidence I lost a little (long) time ago.
On my run today I looked up at the sky (probably to ask God for strength or something...it's a blur now and my heavy breathing made me forget why I looked up). I saw the most beautiful sight. It's when the sun's rays peek through the clouds. Ever since I was little, I thought it looked like "Heaven." Like God was letting a little piece of Heaven look through the clouds. And I felt like it was just for me.
|It takes my breath away, every time|
When I saw this sight, I found myself saying out loud, "Thank you God for giving me a body that can run." It just came out. And I was thankful for running. Because even though I was doing it in 60-second intervals in between 90-seconds of walking, I was running.
In recent weeks I have been doing a lot of talking about what I can't do. I can't stick with my diet, it's too hard. I can't find time to exercise, I'm too busy. I can't run, my knees are bad.
How many times do we talk ourselves out of doing what's good for us? How many times do we have to feel bad about starting over again and feeling embarassed about it? Well, it's kind of like that owl with the tootsie pop. I'm taking a bite and I'm not waiting to find out. Cuz I'm starting over now. I don't care and I'm not embarassed cuz this is real and it's what I'm dealing with and I know some of you are too. I don't want to know how many times it takes, because I am interrupting the negative cycle - for today - and I plan on doing it again tomorrow. I need support and encouragement which I seek from various sources (some of which have a co-pay, haha) but ultimately it's up to ME to do what's best for ME. As I was running (in 60 second bursts) I realized that my choices got me to where I am now, and my choices are going to get me to where I am tomorrow. So - for today - I am choosing wisely.
As I write this, I am hungry. Not just "I feel like a late night snack" hungry, but "my dog is sleeping at my feet and got startled by my tummy growling" hungry. But I am making a choice to feed myself spiritually instead. It didn't hurt that when I was putting away laundry I tried on this Harley shirt that I wore when I was dating my husband. It looked like it shrunk a few sizes. Only it didn't. And so I went back upstairs and guess what, I didn't eat. I highly recommend trying something on that used to fit you, but doesn't, to get you motivated. Because I know I wore that before, and it makes me realize that it IS possible to be that size again, and that it's not a matter of "bone structure" that is not making it fit now.
So, friends, this is me being hopeful...the Runner formerly known as Coconut Clusters is giving it a go. And by the grace of God, I'm gonna keep going!
|Run Diana Run!|